Without mindset and compassion, even simple tasks never seem to get done, both in life and in business. How fascinating is it when we can know exactly what to do and yet, it remains undone.
We know that to lose weight we need to burn more calories than we consume, yet more than two out of three adults are considered overweight or obese.
We know that to gain more exposure for our business we need to put our work out there to be seen and receive feedback. Yet we continue to polish, and re-polish, our work, stuck in perfectionism and staying “hidden.”
We know setting healthy boundaries will support us in creating the life we want as a business owner (read more about that here), yet we continually say yes to others, putting our needs on the back burner … making it virtually impossible to do the things that are essential to grow our business.
We know we need to create an effective marketing and social media plan so we can successfully get ourselves in front of our ideal clients … yet, for some reason, other things seem to continually take precedence.
And we know that to discover our greatness, we need to move out of our comfort zone.
We need to get comfortable with the uncomfortable.
If we know what to do, why is it so damn hard to do it? Why the resistance?
In Barbara Stanny’s book Overcoming Underearning (Harper Paperbacks, 2007) she wrote a great piece about decoding resistance:
Stanny describes “Decoding Resistance:
- All resistance comes from fear.
- At the core of all fear is a belief.
- At the root of all belief is a decision you made.
- These decisions are made early, often unconsciously, and have little to do with reality.
- To ride out the resistance, redo your decision.”
It’s simple to understand … putting it into action is the hard part. This is where the mindset piece is oh so important. Simple right? Yup. Easy? Not so much.
I’ve discovered time and again, the actions that will create the greatest impact for my clients, and bring the change they’re wanting, craving, in their life and business are more often than not, really quite simple but not necessarily easy to implement.
Just because something is simple, doesn’t make it easy to achieve.
So we beat ourselves up.
We “should” … all over ourselves.
We become frustrated and angry.
And sometimes, we give up.
Which makes us judge and beat ourselves up and we get even more angry and more frustrated … you get the point, right? It’s a viscous cycle to put ourselves in.
Compassion is our friend here, ladies.
When we continually beat ourselves up, when we only shine the light on where we’ve (possibly) fallen down, we fail to see all that we have done and accomplished.
If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly until you can do it well.
Olympic athletes have worked hard, damn hard, for many years, to get where they are today. It didn’t just happen. It wasn’t easy.
Julia Childs may have been a natural in the kitchen, but I’m betting she created plenty of flops as she built a name for herself. Here’s a great quote of hers:
“The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking you’ve got to have a what-the-hell attitude.”
In order to create the life we want, we’ve got to have a “what-the-hell-attitude” at times. Agree?
And for me, a “what the hell attitude” has allowed me compassion for myself … allowed me to try and allowed me to fail.
It’s allowed me to fail forward.
When we focus on what we haven’t done, we fail to see what we have done.
And when we can lift our heads to see and acknowledge the steps we’ve taken, it gives us the momentum, energy, (and compassion) to pursue our dreams.
While in coaching “school” (I went back to school at forty-nine!) one of my coaches shared a pearl of wisdom with us that has stuck with me. He said:
“What a we don’t celebrate turns to shit.”
Meaning that when we reach a goal, no matter how large or small, and we don’t stop to acknowledge it, every day is just the same. It’s easy to simply check it off the list and ask “What’s next?”
Then we don’t experience our successes … and we forget about them. And they’re not there to support us when we really need them.
Compassion, ladies. Try it on, allow some for yourself.
We give it so freely to our friends.
Why do we withhold it from ourselves?
What are some of the simple, yet challenging work tasks you’ve been putting off? Why? What’s your “story” around them that’s keeping you stuck?
And, what would you tell your best friend to do if she lacked compassion for herself and continually beat herself up? Be that friend, to your Self.
I’d love to hear your comments. Are you ready to give your Self some compassion and start getting comfortable with the uncomfortable? Click Here to download an application for a free Clarity Consultation with me … let’s get you intentionally moving towards the life and business of your dreams, now!