Boundaries |
Boundaries Without Apology
Boundaries.
Everyone has their own opinion, experience, take on them.
A boundary is not a bad thing. It’s not evil. Having healthy boundaries doesn’t make us aggressive. Boundaries don’t make us rigid or unapproachable.
I wrote about boundaries a little over a year ago in Business Boundaries to Protect What Matters (check it out here), yet I felt compelled to circle back around and talk more about this hot topic. Nearly every single business person I work with and speak to tells me that boundaries are impacting their business, what appears to be, at greater speeds and with larger impact. Usually, this is due to a lack of boundaries.
As entrepreneurs, we often avoid and don’t maintain boundaries because we don’t fully understand what they are or how to use them.
One View of Boundaries Without Apology
We tend to look at a boundary as a vertical gate that comes down smashing in front of us that says, “You can’t come near me and I can’t go near you …I have a boundary.” It’s a hard line in the sand, a solid wall slamming between us, BOOM! It’s clear, obvious, hard and divisive. It has negative connotations.
That’s what many of us tend to think of when we think of a boundary, and it’s why we don’t like them … because they exclude people,. They exclude us from being with people, or energy or relationships.
It feels awful, selfish, and hard to be on the other side of that boundary.
The View from the Other Side
I’d like to offer another, different perspective.
The way I think of a boundary is more like a step-ladder, that “thing” that’s going to help intentionally and confidently lift/move you to the next level, the next tier, a very important component that accelerates the growth to where you want to go and grow to in your business.
Ladder
Envision yourself high up on the ladder, keeping your eye on the prize and climbing towards your goals. Up there with you are the people who rely on you, your family, your team, your business, your community.
And the boundary is if we bend down to accommodate someone else’s priority and do what it is they’re asking or ‘needing’ of us, then guess what happens? The ladder is going to fall over, and the people relying on us (ourselves included) are all going to come toppling down as we bend and break the boundary.
When we step down to accommodate someone else’s agenda and priority, we take our eye off the prize of what it is we’re working so damn hard for. It impacts our growth, our success, our bottom line, our team, and our relationships … and quite often, our self-confidence.
But when we hold our boundary and ask the person to come up the ladder and meet us, then we’re saying “I believe in your ability to meet me where I am, then we can move forward together.”
The Role of the Boundary
The boundary is there so we don’t break our back or topple the ladder and everyone relying on us feels the effects too.
It’s inclusive and empowering, instead of divisive and disempowering.
And here’s the thing, when we lack boundaries, we often feel resentment, frustration, and anger and this it drains our energy and vitality.
A lack of boundaries can make us feel scattered and eats away at healthy relationships with family, friends, co-workers, employees, or even (perhaps especially) with ourselves and our business.
And, with boundaries come a sweet little (well, HUGE) perk: work-life balance.
The Benefits of Boundaries Without Apology
When we have boundaries without apology, we simply get more done in less time and we can gain our life back. We can begin to enjoy again the things that are important to us, the things that drew us into business in the first place. Freedom, family, wealth, impact, and more fulfillment in each and every day.
4 Key Boundary-Related Categories
In my 27 years as a business owner, and through my work with many business owners in my coaching career, I’ve identified 4 key categories in our business that we need to be hyper-focused on when it comes to boundaries so that we can build the business of our dreams and live the life we want to experience. They are vision, roadmap, time management, and team. Let’s take a look.
Vision
At one point you had a vision, it may have been to make millions, maybe it was to work 10 months a year and travel 2 months with your family (without having to worry about paying your credit card bills when you get home), max out your 401K, pay for your kids’ college…and have some left over just to play with
But over time you had to bend because this person needed you, that person needed you, and the kids constantly needed rides to school, games, to friends’ houses.
So the big vision over time began to shrink and now it continues to feel out of reach. Suddenly, it’s so tiny it’s more like “ If I could just make payroll this week”…or “ …just take a damn day off!”
A clear vision of where we want our business to go and grow to, allows us to confidently set boundaries and unapologetically say no to the things that aren’t moving us closer to our goals.
And sometimes, those things might be something that we really want to do, but the payoff/tradeoff is so much sweeter knowing in the long run our short-term choice supports our long-term vision.
Roadmap
Roadmap…AKA Business Plan (air quotes here!)
A business plan isn’t just for banks and it’s NOT boring. It’s actually there to keep us on track so we can MAKE MONEY (a good thing, right?)!
You probably had a clear plan, a roadmap, at some point but employees came and went, a vendor didn’t pull through for an important job, a big client decided they were going in a different direction, and now all of a sudden your roadmap is GPS on haywire.
Nothing or little makes sense anymore, and you’ve become reactive instead of proactive.
This is when you’re in the biggest jeopardy of falling off the ladder … you’re spinning 50 plates in the air, working on deadlines, trying to coordinate employee schedules, family schedules, negotiating a new contract, (fitting in some self-care), and a veritable plethora of To-Dos.
It feels more like putting out fires than following your vision. I know, I get it, I’ve been there.
Being in reactive mode involves constantly bending down from your ladder to accommodate somebody else’s agenda and priorities. Taking your eye off YOUR vision and goals, and ignoring the boundaries you need to achieve your vision.
Your roadmap is what takes your Big Vision and strategically gets you into motion … it’s what creates a solid path to follow and solid boundaries that say “NO,” confidently, intentionally, and without apology.
Roadmap
Schedule some time to reconnect to your vision, to your goals for what you want your business AND life to be. Then back out of your vision to create a roadmap that supports you, defines your choices, and cut the edges in for strong boundaries, and for your success.
Many of my clients and colleagues, tell me they don’t have the luxury of slowing down to get clear, to reconnect. That’s like driving down the highway at top speed and saying you don’t have time to stop for gas.
We know what’s going to happen. Make time for your fuel now or get ready to pull out your AAA card for a tow. (And make sure your membership is up to date.)
Time Management
It seems pretty straightforward. We’re all aware of it. While it’s an easy concept, it’s really, really challenging in healthy execution. It’s TIME MANAGEMENT.
It’s a common “business-speak” phrase. We all know it’s important, but do we always recognize just how much? This area is our NON-RENEWABLE currency. Let that sink in … “non-renewable.”
This is the thing we all have a finite amount of. We only get 1 “noon” on Tuesday this week, ever. And, here’s the kicker: none of us knows what that finite number is.
We’re operating a budget (our budget of time) with no fiscal transparency. Yet we behave like there’s always tomorrow.
Time Management isn’t really about time blocking, setting reminders, and finding 30 minutes to check our e-mail. There IS VALUE to all of that, absolutely. BUT, just coming in and “Managing Our Time” kind of feels like a time out, doesn’t it?
Time Management is about tying it all together…what’s the VISION? HOW are you getting there? WHAT’S your roadmap look like? WHEN are you moving things forward?
Actual TIME MANAGEMENT IS THE RESULT OF having a SOLID PLAN. The plan is the result of having a VISION you’re really excited about.
Our days are our life in miniature. Be vigilant with your time.
Use the law of linkage when someone is asking, or needing, you to step down from your ladder and not honor your boundaries. Link every choice you make today to your vision of the future you’re working so damn hard for.
THIS will allow you to say “no” and take things off your To-Do list, without apology.
Team
Team. It’s the people, business AND personal. It’s the WHO. Your team is who’s supporting you, AND who’s not … and where are the boundaries drawn?
Some examples of team and boundaries include:
- An employee coming in late all the time. THAT is a boundary issue.
- Your team being reactive instead of proactive—where is your team?
- When YOU’RE coming in early and working late. THIS IS A BOUNDARY ISSUE.
- It’s not delegating work you could be handing off because you don’t trust your team. This is a boundary issue … as well as a delegation and communication issue, but those are for another discussion.
- It’s dropping what you’re working on and running your kids all over town, for the third time this week. That’s a boundary issue.
Team is how we ACHIEVE more without DOING more.
One of the biggest problems I see with the businesses I work with is they’re taking on too much, and in turn their schedule is overloaded, they’re overwhelmed … and they’re moving in reactive mode.
Be sure to have a competent team that you trust and that can handle the work you’re bringing in … or else if you’re saying “yes” to too many things YOU’LL be consumed 24/7 figuring out how to make it all work. And THAT’S a boundary issue.
Where Now?
Could your boundaries use some updating with your team? Be transparent. Let them know what’s working and what’s not. Invite them into the conversation of what your vision is. Share your roadmap. Ask them where they feel they can best contribute and what are their strengths?
We can’t do this alone. A team is what will support us and uplift us. Together we’re stronger (I know, I know, the dramatic music plays here, roll with me…) because it’s true.
Lift your head, look around, who’s your tribe? Who are your power partners?
Remember, a team is how we’re able to achieve more without doing more. It’s a reflection of us establishing a healthy boundary in our business. A boundary that says, “I do not need to do this all alone and I no longer will.”
Healthy boundaries are what make that happen. WITHOUT APOLOGY.
So, think about each of the 4 categories, and consider these 3 powerful questions:
- Which category is the MOST painful-annoying right now? (What has the biggest choke hold)
- Thinking of this area, when did I last feel amazing/supported/etc.?
- What’s ONE THING you can do differently, today?
THIS is slowing down without losing momentum…working ON your business.
It’s focusing on you, it’s focusing on your business….you’re just not doing it at your normal 150 MPH!
I’d love to hear how boundaries have supported you in achieving your dreams, leave a comment below.
Business Strategy |
Hiring a first team member or expanding your team can bring a boost to your revenue and help you make more money ongoing. But the decision to hire takes time and processing.
In my work as a business strategist, I help entrepreneurs examine what’s working and what isn’t working in their business and I help them create a strategy going forward. One of the most common problems uncovered was the need for a team to support them to run their business more smoothly and more profitably.
How You Know It’s Time to Hire or Build a Team
While many entrepreneurs know they may some day need a team, when to start the process may be a bit of an unknown. Often, when people are not making as much money as they desire they don’t want to consider adding the expense of team. This time, however, can be exactly the right time to invest in a team for a greater return in your business. So, how is a business owner to know?
Four Red Flags to Start Building Your Team
There are some common red flags in businesses that need to hire or expand a team. When you know what to look for and how to examine the issues, it’s easier to make a plan about moving forward. Consider each of these common scenarios as they relate to your business:
- Time Management– He can’t do it all and is under the weight of a huge to-do list. He doesn’t have enough time in his day/week to work ON his business so he’s “stuck” building a business that is solely reliant on him to produce all the work … not leaving time (or energy) to increase his client base, and hence, bottom line.
- Work-Life balance– He’s trying to do it all, and realizing he simply can’t, yet doesn’t have a plan of action to bring more balance to his day … putting the one thing he’s seeking on the back burner (balance) while he’s putting out fires.
- Needing to increase profit, but not enough time in the day to do all the work already on her plate AND do the extra needed to bring her business to the next level. So she stays doing the same thing hoping for different results.
- Not having the “right” clients– This business owner is looking to up her game and work with more luxury clients but needs more time and money to attract said clients. Unfortunately she’s working so hard IN her business that she has no time left over at the end of the day, week, month or quarter to invest what is needed to up-level her game and attract the high-end clients she’s looking to work with. She wants to add to her team, and knows she needs to, yet she says she doesn’t have the time to onboard and train a new team member.
Do any of these sound familiar to you? Have you experienced one, or perhaps all, of these scenarios at different stages of your business growth?
The Decision to Hire a Team
I know I’ve experienced each of the four red flags at different points over the 27-years I’ve been an entrepreneur. Not a fun place to be stuck spinning your wheels. I found a way out in the way of a team of support and it’s a way for you, too.
As we scale our business, taking it to the next level, we need to achieve more without doing more.
To do this, we need to start offloading some of the spinning plates we’re fighting to keep in the air so we can focus on GROWING our business … and start to gain our life back.
When the business is reliant on you to produce all (or a majority of) the work, it leaves no time to work ON your business … if you’re the one selling, building, and delivering the widgets, who’s doing the work to GROW the business?
Building an effective team is what will support you to, produce more without doing more. This is what I’ve done in my business and I’ve helped my clients to do the same.
How to Get Started with Building a Team
Here are 3 steps to building a team so you can start handing off a few of those spinning plates you’ve been balancing so delicately:
- Clarity: Get clear on what the position is you’re filling. What are the specific activities you need this person to do? Which position would give you the most amount of time back so that you can regain some much needed joy in your day AND allow you to focus on growing your business? What is it that you do repetitively that you could start systematizing and hand off to a new hire?
- Character: Hire on attitude not aptitude…someone could look like a perfect fit on paper, but if they don’t fit the culture, the environment, of your business, it simply won’t be a good fit. It’s easy to work with a new team member that has a positive attitude, but it’s nearly impossible to teach someone how to play nicely in the sandbox if it’s not in their nature.
- Communicate: Share your vision for your company with your team. Communicate where your business is going, and growing to … and why. Letting your team know your vision and inviting them to participate in it helps them to not only feel successful but to be successful. A successful team creates a successful business. A win-win in my book!
Is It Time for You to Build a Team?
When time management and productivity isn’t enough to accomplish all you need to get done in your business, it may be time to consider hiring a team member or expanding your existing team. Be sure you take stock of your current state of your business to determine the right path for you and to find the right people to join your team. If I can support you to determine if it’s time for you to hire and to help you through the process, please reach out here.
I’d love to hear from you. Do you share your vision with your team members? How do you best communicate with your team? Comment below and let’s start the conversation.
Give me a shout at [email protected] or send me a private message on FB here.
Fear of Failure, Inner Critic, Self Growth, Self-Doubt |
When entrepreneurs get caught in the comparison game, there is a choice. Sit there, stuck, and wallow in it or take action.
Why is Their Grass Greener?
As an entrepreneur, do you ever secretly wonder if you have what it takes …and all the other entrepreneurs know something you don’t?
It’s like they’ve got this whole owning your own business thang dialed in with a thriving business, weekends off, joyful family time AND they actually visit their hair stylist more than twice a year. And here you sit, struggling to finish last week’s to-do list!
I know I’ve felt like this over the years, more often than I care to admit. It’s a bit of a “yucky” feeling, to say the least.
It’s dangerous when we compare ourselves to others.
As Theodore Roosevelt said,
“Shoulding” Leads to Doubt and Isolation
After working with dozens of high-aspiring entrepreneurs, I know this: when we feel we should be further along in our business, that we should be making more money, should have a team of ten supporting us by now, or just generally shoulding all over ourselves, it keeps us locked in judgement … and shame. And stuck.
When we judge what or how we’re doing in business, we’re even more guarded about sharing, or exposing, the discomfort of what’s really going on for us.
We stay quiet, pretending everything is moving along like a well-oiled machine, perfect, going great, couldn’t be better!
This keeps us in a cycle of wanting, actually needing, change, yet not willing to raise our hand and ask for the help we so desperately need, be it personally or professionally.
So, we stay the same, settle for more of the same, and sit in silence wondering how the hell we’re going to make a go of it.
This keeps us from connecting—the very thing that often helps us attract the people we’re meant to serve.
Start with Compassionate Curiosity and Make a Plan
If you see yourself in this, even just a little bit, take notice. Become curious about exploring this. Know that every entrepreneur struggles at each level of their business.
The key to success is consistency in the day to day fundamentals of running a business.
It’s having a plan for your business success, creating goals to achieve that success, and consistently showing up …even when you REALLY don’t want to.
When we’re struggling, it can feel like we need to do something BIG to get ourselves out of the spinning cycle.
We don’t.
Something big can be good, but let’s admit it, when we’re struggling, a big idea or project has an amazing amount of potential to become overwhelming, and yet again, we’re stuck in the spin cycle.
3 Success Action Steps
Instead of becoming overwhelmed by a big idea or project, try these three simple tips to move you forward:
1. Be honest with yourself about where you are and what’s truly going on in your business. Approaching what needs to be “fixed” from a place of judgement will only give you more of the same. When you have a better awareness of where you are, you’ll make better choices. Better choices lead to better results. Better results bring the financial abundance and freedom you desire.
2. Get an accountability partner … someone you trust and someone who will not just let you bitch. I always say, when you come to me with a problem, also come to me with 3 ideas on what to do about that problem, then we’ll brainstorm, together. If you don’t have someone in your circle you feel comfortable talking to, expand your circle. Reach out to your local Small Business Association, local networking or business collaboratives, a Meetup group of women entrepreneurs, or a coach. All are great resources for support.
3. Ask yourself and commit to one simple action step that, when taken consistently, would move you closer to your goals. State it, write it down, commit to it, and enlist your accountability partner to support your consistency.
Simple action steps could include:
- Taking an hour every Sunday evening to plan your week in advance. What gets scheduled gets done!
- Committing to finding a Virtual Assistant or other support person to take some of the tasks off your list and weight off your shoulders.
- Find and establish a routine check in with an accountability partner.
- Or something as simple as starting each day by thinking about your long-term vision for your business. Long-term thinking guides short-term decision-making.
Keep Moving Forward
Taking action, however simple or small, is movement in the right direction. Movement toward your business goals. Movement toward success. Celebrate it and keep moving.
If I can support you to create an action plan for your success click here to book a conversation with me. I’d love the opportunity to support you and guide you further along your success journey.
