Joy Happiness Fulfillment
As business owners, we’re often seeking more of each (and money as well, but that tends to be a result of creating a life full of joy, happiness, and fulfillment, not the cause).
In last week’s blog, I shared studies on the importance of self-care and how it improves our physical, emotional, financial, social, and happiness levels.
Ya gotta love studies that show self-care helps improve our well-being as well as our bottom line. That alone increases my happiness quotient.
This week, I bring a touch of the Velvet Hammer to my message.
To increase joy, happiness, and fulfillment (and yes, $$) in our lives, we need to take more of an active, intentional role in creating it. We need to make it a priority and align our actions with what we want to experience.
It’s not a “Well, that would be nice”, but more of a…
“Oh hell yeah, that’s a non-negotiable” feeling of fulfillment.
We need to deliberately align with and CHOOSE joy, make room for it…and that sometimes means making uncomfortable decisions.
Decisions that also make others uncomfortable, frustrated, and let’s be honest, pissed off.
As a result, we tend to step back and choose their comfort over ours.
Their joy and happiness over ours.
Their success over ours.
It’s not sustainable…or authentic.
Again, making your happiness a priority WILL INCREASE success in every area of your life, even if at first it may ruffle a few feathers.
Taking an active role and being intentional will help you feel more empowered and more in control of your life and business, and less the mercy of circumstances or people.
You’ve got to be willing to sit with the discomfort of choosing your Self, your joy, and your SUCCESS before you’ll be able to confidently and consistently unhook from the reaction and discomfort of others.
Joy, happiness, and fulfillment are on the other side of discomfort.
Ready to get comfortable with the uncomfortable so you can create more of what you want? Let’s set up a complimentary Alignment Review call and get you moving where you want to go.
Too busy working IN your business to slow down and work ON it?
Hell, that’s like flying down the highway at mock speed with no time to stop for gas. Doesn’t sound very productive when I put it that way, does it?
I know, I know, it goes completely against the grain of business owners when I tell them we need to slow down…we need to slow the runaway freight train we’re on so we can clearly look at why crazy busy has become a way of life.
Eyes pop, heads tilt and I hear, ‘Are you BLEEPING serious? I can’t do that, I’ll lose all my momentum.”
The thing is, we need to slow down SO THAT WE CAN GAIN MOMENTUM. Efficiently, Effectively AND Intentionally.
Slowing down sounds counter intuitive, I agree, but hear me out.
Yes, we do need to keep our businesses moving. You’ll get no push back from me there, yet we need to pull over for the occasional pit stop and make sure our GPS is up to date…or we’ll run out of fuel and our map will be outdated, then where will we be?
One of the hardest parts of building a financially secure, lifestyle business is periodically putting on the breaks.
Here’s the thing….
Bam! Such true words by a true visionary.
And, keep in mind, simple does not necessarily mean easy…far from it (more on simple vs easy here). If it did we’d all be fit as a fiddle and your mom wouldn’t keep asking you why you don’t call more often (sorry mom, I’ll dial you up as soon as I finish this blog, promise).
TIP: Try a little “Compassionate Investigation’ when a perceived easy task is tripping you up. Let the judgements go and simply be curious about what’s going on.
Beating yourself up with thoughts of ‘why the hell is this so hard for me, what the BLEEP is wrong with me??’ will not help you out here. Trust me on this one, I’ve tried. MANY times and it’s never worked. Ever. Ugh, the stories I could tell you…but that’s an entirely different blog.
Anywho, back to the discussion at hand.
Slowing down so that we can gain clarity on exactly what it is we want from this one big beautiful life is what will clear the way for us to get there.
It’s what makes discerning if a task is important or simply keeping us busy, an easy and quick decision to make.
Think about it this way: when you know your present location and you know where you’re headed, ONLY THEN can you plot the most direct route to get you there. Straight shot, or scenic route. Your choice.
So, make a date with yourself. Schedule a block of uninterrupted time in your week to look deeply at what it is you’re working so damn hard for.
Get crystal clear on the end result you’re investing your most precious commodity (time) in.
Remember, if an action isn’t moving your closer to your goals, it’s moving you further away when you’re spending your time and energy on it.
Be sure to create a calm and inviting space, one that you’ll enjoy spending some time in and feel good about slowing down for. Doesn’t need to be fancy or over the top, simply a space that’s inviting to you.
Do you like flowers? Grab yourself a fabulous little bouquet to set on your desk while you work.
Is music inspiring for you? Put on your favorite artist and dance to get yourself in a state of joy and creativity before getting started. (This one always puts me in a good mood to work OR play)
Does being surrounded by clutter, clutter your mind? Take 15 minutes to clear your work space before jumping in.
Love nature? Get outside and go for a walk…let Mother Nature set the stage for you.
Not sure how to slow down without losing momentum? Give me a shout and let’s set up a free Clarity Call where we’ll look at what’s underlying your busyness and what the challenges are that’s getting in the way of you creating the lifestyle business you’re working so hard to create. Click here to apply.
Do you set goals for yourself, work your tail off, push through the struggle, then simply give yourself a little nod (if that) when you’ve hit your target instead of celebrating your success?
In talking with women, I’m hearing this is an all too common theme. We set goals (this in itself calls for a celebration much of the time), achieve them, and yet we rarely slow down long enough to acknowledge, feel and CONNECT to the emotion of our successes. We check it off the list and…on to the next thing.
Most of us are masters at beating ourselves up for not getting to everything on our to-do list or meeting a goal, but the majority of us don’t even think to celebrate when we do meet a goal make a dent in our mile long to-do list.
A coach I met during my coach certification once announced to the class, ‘What we don’t celebrate turns to shit.’ Kind of took the air out of the room for a moment.
Here’s the point he was making- we remember things through emotion. So, when we need a positive emotion to help us through a tough time, it’s not there to lean on. We struggle, questioning if we really have what it takes.
For some reason it’s much easier to pull up a negative memory or emotion for us to experience (over and over) like shame, anger, fear, guilt or frustration. We connect to those negative emotions viscerally, and can recall them in an instant…because we have a stockpile of them to draw from.
We have got to start celebrating our successes so we have an arsenal of positive emotions to draw from when we hit a bump in the road.
As a business owner, having the ability to access positive emotions when that bump is about to throw us off course (full throttle down the rabbit hole of second guessing everything we’re doing) gives us the tools to choose whether we tumble head first down the hole, or whether we choose a different path.
By celebrating, we’re able to say and feel “Ahhh, here is an example of when I succeeded.” Otherwise, we’re inclined to let our good old friends Self Doubt and Mind Chatter invite themselves over to the party and stay waaayyyy too long.
When we celebrate, we’re giving ourselves more positive emotions to connect with and kicking Self-Doubt and Mind Chatter to the curb.
When we focus on what we haven’t accomplished, we fail to see what we have done.
Celebrating doesn’t have to be dropping a ton of cash, booking an extravagant Caribbean vacation or even involve a great deal of time – though it can be any of those if you want, cuz’, hey, wouldn’t all of those be nice!
It can be as simple as going for a walk, scheduling a Ladies Night, going out for ice cream or dinner with your family or a friends. Maybe it’s buying yourself something small, but decadent…something that makes you smile like a new journal, that perfect color lipstick you’ve been coveting for a month now or a new book.
It takes courage to celebrate our successes.
As women, it can feel selfish or even somewhat arrogant to think we should celebrate ourselves, our accomplishments or call attention to our successes.
It can feel like we’re in a foreign land when we start to toot our own horn. We’ve spent so little time celebrating our Self and discovering our strengths we’re not quite sure how to go about doing it.
We need to toot our own horn loud, long and with gusto when we reach our goals.
Not only does it feed our soul and fill our own bucket, it makes us feel better emotionally, physically and financially. A win-win-win, wouldn’t you agree?
It also makes us better moms by modeling for our children that we realize we are also worthy of celebration. It makes us better business partners by filling us with more confidence. It also makes us better life partners by making us more empowered to walk alongside rather than behind.
Here are three tips for Celebrating Your Successes:
- Set your goals so you know when you’ve hit your mark and achieved success.
- Decide ahead of time what you’ll do to celebrate when you’ve hit your mark, your goal, or simply crossed a bunch off your to-to list.
- Have an accountability partner who makes sure you actually follow through on celebrating – someone who will support you and hold your feet to the fire.
“If you don’t celebrate your success, it won’t celebrate you!” – Julian Hall