Fear of Failure, Inner Critic, Self Growth, Self-Doubt |
When entrepreneurs get caught in the comparison game, there is a choice. Sit there, stuck, and wallow in it or take action.
Why is Their Grass Greener?
As an entrepreneur, do you ever secretly wonder if you have what it takes …and all the other entrepreneurs know something you don’t?
It’s like they’ve got this whole owning your own business thang dialed in with a thriving business, weekends off, joyful family time AND they actually visit their hair stylist more than twice a year. And here you sit, struggling to finish last week’s to-do list!
I know I’ve felt like this over the years, more often than I care to admit. It’s a bit of a “yucky” feeling, to say the least.
It’s dangerous when we compare ourselves to others.
As Theodore Roosevelt said,
“Shoulding” Leads to Doubt and Isolation
After working with dozens of high-aspiring entrepreneurs, I know this: when we feel we should be further along in our business, that we should be making more money, should have a team of ten supporting us by now, or just generally shoulding all over ourselves, it keeps us locked in judgement … and shame. And stuck.
When we judge what or how we’re doing in business, we’re even more guarded about sharing, or exposing, the discomfort of what’s really going on for us.
We stay quiet, pretending everything is moving along like a well-oiled machine, perfect, going great, couldn’t be better!
This keeps us in a cycle of wanting, actually needing, change, yet not willing to raise our hand and ask for the help we so desperately need, be it personally or professionally.
So, we stay the same, settle for more of the same, and sit in silence wondering how the hell we’re going to make a go of it.
This keeps us from connecting—the very thing that often helps us attract the people we’re meant to serve.
Start with Compassionate Curiosity and Make a Plan
If you see yourself in this, even just a little bit, take notice. Become curious about exploring this. Know that every entrepreneur struggles at each level of their business.
The key to success is consistency in the day to day fundamentals of running a business.
It’s having a plan for your business success, creating goals to achieve that success, and consistently showing up …even when you REALLY don’t want to.
When we’re struggling, it can feel like we need to do something BIG to get ourselves out of the spinning cycle.
We don’t.
Something big can be good, but let’s admit it, when we’re struggling, a big idea or project has an amazing amount of potential to become overwhelming, and yet again, we’re stuck in the spin cycle.
3 Success Action Steps
Instead of becoming overwhelmed by a big idea or project, try these three simple tips to move you forward:
1. Be honest with yourself about where you are and what’s truly going on in your business. Approaching what needs to be “fixed” from a place of judgement will only give you more of the same. When you have a better awareness of where you are, you’ll make better choices. Better choices lead to better results. Better results bring the financial abundance and freedom you desire.
2. Get an accountability partner … someone you trust and someone who will not just let you bitch. I always say, when you come to me with a problem, also come to me with 3 ideas on what to do about that problem, then we’ll brainstorm, together. If you don’t have someone in your circle you feel comfortable talking to, expand your circle. Reach out to your local Small Business Association, local networking or business collaboratives, a Meetup group of women entrepreneurs, or a coach. All are great resources for support.
3. Ask yourself and commit to one simple action step that, when taken consistently, would move you closer to your goals. State it, write it down, commit to it, and enlist your accountability partner to support your consistency.
Simple action steps could include:
- Taking an hour every Sunday evening to plan your week in advance. What gets scheduled gets done!
- Committing to finding a Virtual Assistant or other support person to take some of the tasks off your list and weight off your shoulders.
- Find and establish a routine check in with an accountability partner.
- Or something as simple as starting each day by thinking about your long-term vision for your business. Long-term thinking guides short-term decision-making.
Keep Moving Forward
Taking action, however simple or small, is movement in the right direction. Movement toward your business goals. Movement toward success. Celebrate it and keep moving.
If I can support you to create an action plan for your success click here to book a conversation with me. I’d love the opportunity to support you and guide you further along your success journey.
Vision |
Too busy working IN your business to slow down and work ON it?
Hell, that’s like flying down the highway at mock speed with no time to stop for gas. Doesn’t sound very productive when I put it that way, does it?
I know, I know, it goes completely against the grain of business owners when I tell them we need to slow down…we need to slow the runaway freight train we’re on so we can clearly look at why crazy busy has become a way of life.
Eyes pop, heads tilt and I hear, ‘Are you BLEEPING serious? I can’t do that, I’ll lose all my momentum.”
The thing is, we need to slow down SO THAT WE CAN GAIN MOMENTUM. Efficiently, Effectively AND Intentionally.
Slowing down sounds counter intuitive, I agree, but hear me out.
Yes, we do need to keep our businesses moving. You’ll get no push back from me there, yet we need to pull over for the occasional pit stop and make sure our GPS is up to date…or we’ll run out of fuel and our map will be outdated, then where will we be?
One of the hardest parts of building a financially secure, lifestyle business is periodically putting on the breaks.
Here’s the thing….
Bam! Such true words by a true visionary.
And, keep in mind, simple does not necessarily mean easy…far from it (more on simple vs easy here). If it did we’d all be fit as a fiddle and your mom wouldn’t keep asking you why you don’t call more often (sorry mom, I’ll dial you up as soon as I finish this blog, promise).
TIP: Try a little “Compassionate Investigation’ when a perceived easy task is tripping you up. Let the judgements go and simply be curious about what’s going on.
Beating yourself up with thoughts of ‘why the hell is this so hard for me, what the BLEEP is wrong with me??’ will not help you out here. Trust me on this one, I’ve tried. MANY times and it’s never worked. Ever. Ugh, the stories I could tell you…but that’s an entirely different blog.
Anywho, back to the discussion at hand.
Slowing down so that we can gain clarity on exactly what it is we want from this one big beautiful life is what will clear the way for us to get there.
It’s what makes discerning if a task is important or simply keeping us busy, an easy and quick decision to make.
Think about it this way: when you know your present location and you know where you’re headed, ONLY THEN can you plot the most direct route to get you there. Straight shot, or scenic route. Your choice.
So, make a date with yourself. Schedule a block of uninterrupted time in your week to look deeply at what it is you’re working so damn hard for.
Get crystal clear on the end result you’re investing your most precious commodity (time) in.
Remember, if an action isn’t moving your closer to your goals, it’s moving you further away when you’re spending your time and energy on it.
Be sure to create a calm and inviting space, one that you’ll enjoy spending some time in and feel good about slowing down for. Doesn’t need to be fancy or over the top, simply a space that’s inviting to you.
Do you like flowers? Grab yourself a fabulous little bouquet to set on your desk while you work.
Is music inspiring for you? Put on your favorite artist and dance to get yourself in a state of joy and creativity before getting started. (This one always puts me in a good mood to work OR play)
Does being surrounded by clutter, clutter your mind? Take 15 minutes to clear your work space before jumping in.
Love nature? Get outside and go for a walk…let Mother Nature set the stage for you.
Not sure how to slow down without losing momentum? Give me a shout and let’s set up a free Clarity Call where we’ll look at what’s underlying your busyness and what the challenges are that’s getting in the way of you creating the lifestyle business you’re working so hard to create. Click here to apply.
Priority Management |
‘I am SO done with the amount of work I’m doing’. Ever been there? Said that? FELT that?
Most entrepreneurs have at some point in their business. It’s not a fun space to be in. Especially when all the hours you’re putting in aren’t moving the dial on your business.
I know. I’ve been there. This is normal, trust me. But you can’t stay there long. Not if you want to make that business and lifestyle dream a reality.
It can feel a bit like being stuck on the spinning cycle, pinned to the walls and not able to step off…or even lift your head. Kind of makes you dizzy and exhausted thinking about it, doesn’t it?
The question ‘Is your business running you or are you running your business?’ has been a big topic of conversation that keeps popping up with the entrepreneurs I speak with.
Being in business for yourself can at times feel like being on a run-away freight train.
You don’t want to quit (you have too much time and money invested) but you don’t know how to slow it down and you don’t know what to do.
Resonate with any of you entrepreneurs out there? Especially the multi-passion entrepreneurs with 2-3 businesses.
So, the burning question is:
It doesn’t have to be so hard, but we do need to figure it out before overwhelm and procrastination sets in and it becomes even harder to get anything done.
Yes, you can gain control of your business and have a life again…a life that you enjoy and where your business isn’t running you.
One of the first questions I ask when an entrepreneur tells me they’re consumed by their business, and their work-life balance is completely out of whack (more on balance here) is:
‘How are you prioritizing your time?”
More often than not, they can’t tell me. At least not with clarity and specifics.
One way to slow down while not losing speed is to simply keep a log of where you’re spending your time during your day. It doesn’t need to be a big production, something simple like keeping a log on your cell phone will do just fine.
Awareness is key here.
When we are aware of what we’re choosing to spend our time on, we can discern whether it’s productive and moving us closer to our goals, or simply busy time.
Awareness helps us make better choices.
If an action isn’t moving us closer to our goals, it is in fact moving us further away. Time and energy spent cannot be recouped.
Better choices bring better results. Period.
A tip I recommend is Time Chunking.
Most of the important work you do will require larger chunks of uninterrupted time. Yes, this means turning off our phone, closing out of your email and Facebook.
I even suggest hanging a ‘Doing Important Work, Do Not Disturb’ sign on your door so people (i.e. family if you work from home) know to not interrupt you. (More on setting Boundaries here…)
To experience the most success with Time Chunking, schedule your day in advance. This can be done first thing in the morning or perhaps at the end of the day, planning out your following day.
When you time chunk AND schedule your day in advance, you’ll be more efficient and effective in your day. You’ll be more productive and be able to create more time (and income) for what’s important.
Tired of feeling like your business is running you? Apply for a complimentary Clarity Call where we’ll examine which area of your business is causing you the most angst right now and what the underlying issues may be. Click Here To Apply.
Time Management |
Many of the entrepreneurs I know would give a resounding “yes” to that question! Maybe you would too. By the end of this blog post you might not feel so strongly about it, though.
My private one-on-one work with clients always begins with getting them in touch with their deepest desires and doing some Big Vision planning.
Next we dive deep into structure. We tackle the big three: time management, boundary-setting, and building a schedule. Let’s start with time management, a hot topic these days!
Time management can feel a bit like going backwards. Do you think about the timeslots of your day and eventually find yourself thinking, “this is NOT the freedom I wanted when I left my job!”? Maybe you left a stifling structure behind when you broke out on your own. Maybe you built your business on the side while working full time. But now that you’re out on your own, you are busy all. the. time. And still not getting enough done!
Being “busy” is all the rage. In fact, Silvia Bellezza, a professor of marketing at Columbia Business School, recently did a study that found that there’s a common idea that “a busy person possesses desired human capital characteristics (competence, ambition) and is scarce and in demand.”
But being busy might be killing us. Bellezza wrote, “Working all the time is dysfunctional and becoming a workaholic society is not healthy.”, and….it’s not sustainable.
Okay, chances are you didn’t follow your passion in order to become a workaholic. You wanted flexibility and freedom! Nonetheless, we’ve still got to get the structure in place in our business so that we can have the fun and freedom we’d dreamed of in our big full lives. You’ve probably heard me say this before: Structure = Freedom.
One thing about a merit badge: it’s to show other people.
If you’re finding that by Friday your to-do list is longer than ever and you’ve run out of time, we should talk. If you want to work less, earn more, and create the lifestyle you dream of, you are in the right place! Sign up here for a complimentary 1-hour clarity call where we can talk about the ways I can help.
Vision |
Do you set goals for yourself, work your tail off, push through the struggle, then simply give yourself a little nod (if that) when you’ve hit your target instead of celebrating your success?
In talking with women, I’m hearing this is an all too common theme. We set goals (this in itself calls for a celebration much of the time), achieve them, and yet we rarely slow down long enough to acknowledge, feel and CONNECT to the emotion of our successes. We check it off the list and…on to the next thing.
Most of us are masters at beating ourselves up for not getting to everything on our to-do list or meeting a goal, but the majority of us don’t even think to celebrate when we do meet a goal make a dent in our mile long to-do list.
A coach I met during my coach certification once announced to the class, ‘What we don’t celebrate turns to shit.’ Kind of took the air out of the room for a moment.
Here’s the point he was making- we remember things through emotion. So, when we need a positive emotion to help us through a tough time, it’s not there to lean on. We struggle, questioning if we really have what it takes.
For some reason it’s much easier to pull up a negative memory or emotion for us to experience (over and over) like shame, anger, fear, guilt or frustration. We connect to those negative emotions viscerally, and can recall them in an instant…because we have a stockpile of them to draw from.
We have got to start celebrating our successes so we have an arsenal of positive emotions to draw from when we hit a bump in the road.
As a business owner, having the ability to access positive emotions when that bump is about to throw us off course (full throttle down the rabbit hole of second guessing everything we’re doing) gives us the tools to choose whether we tumble head first down the hole, or whether we choose a different path.
By celebrating, we’re able to say and feel “Ahhh, here is an example of when I succeeded.” Otherwise, we’re inclined to let our good old friends Self Doubt and Mind Chatter invite themselves over to the party and stay waaayyyy too long.
When we celebrate, we’re giving ourselves more positive emotions to connect with and kicking Self-Doubt and Mind Chatter to the curb.
When we focus on what we haven’t accomplished, we fail to see what we have done.
Celebrating doesn’t have to be dropping a ton of cash, booking an extravagant Caribbean vacation or even involve a great deal of time – though it can be any of those if you want, cuz’, hey, wouldn’t all of those be nice!
It can be as simple as going for a walk, scheduling a Ladies Night, going out for ice cream or dinner with your family or a friends. Maybe it’s buying yourself something small, but decadent…something that makes you smile like a new journal, that perfect color lipstick you’ve been coveting for a month now or a new book.
It takes courage to celebrate our successes.
As women, it can feel selfish or even somewhat arrogant to think we should celebrate ourselves, our accomplishments or call attention to our successes.
It can feel like we’re in a foreign land when we start to toot our own horn. We’ve spent so little time celebrating our Self and discovering our strengths we’re not quite sure how to go about doing it.
We need to toot our own horn loud, long and with gusto when we reach our goals.
Not only does it feed our soul and fill our own bucket, it makes us feel better emotionally, physically and financially. A win-win-win, wouldn’t you agree?
It also makes us better moms by modeling for our children that we realize we are also worthy of celebration. It makes us better business partners by filling us with more confidence. It also makes us better life partners by making us more empowered to walk alongside rather than behind.
Here are three tips for Celebrating Your Successes:
- Set your goals so you know when you’ve hit your mark and achieved success.
- Decide ahead of time what you’ll do to celebrate when you’ve hit your mark, your goal, or simply crossed a bunch off your to-to list.
- Have an accountability partner who makes sure you actually follow through on celebrating – someone who will support you and hold your feet to the fire.
“If you don’t celebrate your success, it won’t celebrate you!” – Julian Hall
